So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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