what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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