I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
