and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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