Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
