it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
