Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
