The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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