Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
