she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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