Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Randomize
