True but thats because hes a fetus.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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