how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
