So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
