You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
