champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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