You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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