it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
