Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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