You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
