we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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