Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
