I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
