dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
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Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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