can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
