There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My penis needs a shock collar
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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