Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize