Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
