So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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