so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize