if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
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If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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