Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
