I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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