have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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