My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
