Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
