he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
