To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
