kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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