I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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