i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
