am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
