omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
