we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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