this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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