They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
