2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You just made me feel so damn special
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
