woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
