I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
