Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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