i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
