Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
