it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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