Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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