I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
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Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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