we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
