well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize